Got to get this ‘out of my Heart’….wondering why you never told me about my life ? I know you didn’t give a shit about me…that was always clear…but why keep ‘everything’ from me ? Did you think it was serving some purpose ?? I mean you were ‘supposed to be a Christian’ and everything ! What a joke ! I don’t even know ‘what I am’, much less ‘who I am’ ! I have been passed around my whole fucking life ! Life ? No….Death ! God ! Was I that horrible ? Wonder if I have a Heart transplant if it would get all the hurt out too ! Can’t even think about it without having chest pain….and that frickin monitor …..God, get me out of here ! Funny…they call us ‘Love Child’ ….makes me want to throw up ! Maybe ‘love’ or ‘sex’ to you, but sure wasn’t love to me ! I know I will die with all this inside me….Como le Haces Para Estar TODO EL DIA EN MI MENTE ! How long can the lying go on ? I have a new friend, Stacey, who wants to know all about my life’s journey……..hahaha…….’Freudian Slip’….should have left it….’lie’s journey’……..am actually laughing out loud….too funny ! A Freudian slip, also called parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is interpreted as occurring due to the interference of some unconscious (“dynamically repressed”), subdued, wish, conflict, or train of thought. How do you get ‘sexual intent’ out of that….Dr. Freud ? God, I think I am going to leave here tonight. No point in staying. Wonder if you suffered before you died ? Did you know ? I’m sure you were glad…all you did was worship the ground that bastard you married walked on ! I should get all the lies out while I’m still breathing. Don’t guess it matters anymore…Angel knows..and there isn’t anyone else that would care. I would rather die at home…don’t want to be here. I want to stay on the other side…it is so peaceful, don’t feel the pain and confusion. Too bad I can’t drive to Peru. I need to be back in Cuzco. I guess Angel will make sure I get there somehow…I have plenty of friends there, so I know I can make it to Machu Picchu. Don’t think I will make it to alignment in March, but maybe someone will throw my ashes somewhere close to Intihuatana so I can get home.
Life, not Death has been my foe…free at last to Peace I go !