Monthly Archives: January 2012

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Okay, PB…”little pity bull” is as you would say “Let me get the little ‘nasty’ out !”

Got to get this ‘out of my Heart’….wondering why you never told me about my life ? I know you didn’t give a shit about me…that was always clear…but why keep ‘everything’ from me ? Did you think it was serving some purpose ??  I mean you were ‘supposed to be a Christian’ and everything ! What a joke ! I don’t even know ‘what I am’, much less ‘who I am’ !  I have been passed around my whole fucking life ! Life ? No….Death ! God ! Was I that horrible ? Wonder if I have a Heart transplant if it would get all the hurt out too ! Can’t even think about it without having chest pain….and that frickin monitor …..God, get me out of here ! Funny…they call us ‘Love Child’ ….makes me want to throw up ! Maybe ‘love’ or ‘sex’ to you, but sure wasn’t love to me ! I know I will die with all this inside me….Como le Haces Para Estar TODO EL DIA EN MI MENTE ! How long can the lying go on ? I have a new friend, Stacey, who wants to know all about my life’s journey……..hahaha…….’Freudian Slip’….should have left it….’lie’s journey’……..am actually laughing out loud….too funny !  A Freudian slip, also called parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is interpreted as occurring due to the interference of some unconscious (“dynamically repressed”), subdued, wish, conflict, or train of thought. How do you get ‘sexual intent’ out of that….Dr. Freud ? God, I think I am going to leave here tonight. No point in staying. Wonder if you suffered before you died ? Did you know ? I’m sure you were glad…all you did was worship the ground that bastard you married walked on ! I should get all the lies out while I’m still breathing. Don’t guess it matters anymore…Angel knows..and there isn’t anyone else that would care. I would rather  die at home…don’t want to be here. I want to stay on the other side…it is so peaceful, don’t feel the pain and confusion. Too bad I can’t drive to Peru. I need to be back in Cuzco. I guess Angel will make sure I get there somehow…I have plenty of friends there, so I know I can make it to Machu Picchu. Don’t think I will make it to alignment in March, but maybe someone will throw my ashes somewhere close to Intihuatana so I can get home.

Life, not Death has been my foe…free at last to Peace I go !

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Too much US for time to erase… I miss you.

Can I Keep You...

I spent the morning reading the last months worth of communication with us. I know, I know, crazy, psycho, class 5 clinger thing to do but I had to. I dreamt about US, well you mostly, last night. You held me close. You wouldn’t let me go no matter how hard I struggled. You just held me. You kept whispering in my ear. I said horrible things to you, I yelled at you to just leave, leave like everyone else, you wouldn’t, you didn’t. You held on tighter, you kissed my neck, you told me to remember, to believe. You said you were never leaving, that you meant it when you said you loved me and wanted it to work. You cried with me. It was the most vivid, real, dream that I have had in awhile. I woke up with tears streaming down my face, my heart was racing…

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Mr. Rager…this is dedicated to all the kids like me…

I’m off on an adventure….

I’m on my way to Heaven…

Birds seen flying around…

You never see them too long on the ground…

You want to be one of them…

You might hear the birds singing flying around…

You never see them too long on the ground…

You want to be one of them…

Knocked down round for round…

You’re feeling like you’re shot down on the ground…

When will the Fantasy end ?

When will the Heaven begin ?

You might be knocked down round for round…

You’re feeling like you’re shot down on the ground…

When will the Fantasy end ?

When will the Heaven begin ?

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Past ‘Deathday’

I am sooooo relieved Monday is over ! ….strangest day ever….didn’t want to tell Angel everything…I was really afraid I would die before the day was over. Sunday was really scary..we were both afraid..he won’t say anything, but know he was more afraid than me. I’m so glad he stayed with me through everything now. I don’t know why I am getting freaked so easy now…wish it would stop. I don’t know if it was meds they gave me or what, but I was half-dreaming, half-awake all day. I kept thinking I was in The Matrix…the monitors, the alarms, laying flat for so long, not being able to move or turn over….kept feeling I was ‘flying’, thinking I was dead, but knowing if Ben wasn’t there, somehow I would be okay…then feeling I was ‘falling’ , reaching for something that is always just beyond my grasp….I hate that feeling…David…where are you ?? I need to talk to you. Please get your phone back ! I can’t talk to Angel about these things…I need to talk to you ! I can’t stand these monitors…it’s driving me crazy…I want to go home so bad ! I keep thinking if I had married a year ago, we would have a child by now…God, David, everything seemed so simple….

Send your dreams where nobody goes….

Give your tears to the tide….

No time….no time….no time….

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This is AWESOME ! they are finding all my things…so cool !

http://platform.twitter.com/widgets/hub.1326407570.html

Christine Dell’Amore

for National Geographic News

Published January 19, 2012

Just in time for National Popcorn Day, a new study says that people in what’s now Peru were eating the snack 2,000 years earlier than thought.

Coastal peoples were preparing corn-based foods up to 6,700 years ago, according to analysis of ancient corncobs, husks, tassels, and stalks recently unearthed at the Paredones and Huaca Prieta archaeological sites on Peru’s northern coast.

(See “Corn, Arrowroot Fossils in Peru Change Views on Pre-Inca Culture.”)

Previously, evidence of corn as a food before about 5,000 years ago had mostly come from what are called microfossils—microscopic remains that do not offer information on the cobs’ sizes and shapes.

But the newfound corn remains revealed a lot, via radiocarbon dating and other tests. For instance, the oldest cobs can be identified as popcorn, said study co-author Dolores Piperno, curator of New World archaeology at the National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C., and emerita staff scientist at the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute in Panama.

The people who lived at Paredones and Huaca Prieta would’ve cooked corn several ways: Wrapping a cob (in an as yet undetermined material) and resting it on coals, roasting a cob directly over a flame, or cooking a cob in an earthen oven, Piperno said.

In this culture, corn was likely a delicacy or a minor supplement to the diet—archaeological evidence shows they did not eat it in large numbers.

Ancient Farmers Experimented With Corn

Corn was first domesticated in Mexico about 9,000 years ago from a wild grass called teosinte, according to Piperno, whose research appears this week in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

A few thousand years later, corn was brought to South America, where farmers bred the plant crop into hundreds of varieties, she added. (See pictures of modern agriculture.)

Indeed, what surprised Piperno most about the new research was the diversity of corn-from cob shapes to kernel colors—discovered in the newfound remains.

“Farmers like to experiment,” she said, “and grow cool things.”